Lance “The Poser” Von Erich

LanceVonErich

The moment that the WCCW “jumped the shark” in the latter 1980s was with the introduction of this ass-clown, Lance Von Erich. Lance was not fooling anyone: the fans all knew Lance was no cousin or even vaguely related a Von Erich. Therefore, they would taunt Lance each time he appeared inside or outside the squared circle. And when I say “outside the squared circle” this included anywhere in public around the DFW area.

I was eating at Crystal’s Pizza in Ft. Worth the night that the phony Von Erich walked in with what appeared to be a cheap two-dollar whore on his arm. Lance and his hooker had barely ordered their pizza when the chanting began… Quiet and soft at first, but then louder and louder until everyone in the place – including the employees – were all shouting in unison, “Poser Von Erich! Poser Von Erich! Poser Von Erich!” Lance and his skank were both freaking out, screaming obscenities at the chanting patrons and employees of Crystal’s Pizza, demanding that we all stop.

But stop we did not. We were united as one; a force of true Von Erich fans, rising up against the sole individual who we all believed was tarnishing the Von Erich name and legacy. When the scene escalated to the point of turning into a serious riot within the restaurant, the manager appeared and escorted the two through the dining area and toward front exit. Once Lance was ejected from the pizza joint, the occupants erupted in cheers.

After that night at Crystal’s Pizza, Lance vowed never to use the name “Von Erich” again, and a few weeks later – in an effort to prove to the world that he didn’t need the Von Erich name to succeed – Lance changed his name to “Fabulous Lance” and challenged none other than Abdullah The Butcher as his first match under the new moniker.

To the audience’s delight, The Butcher soon pulled out his fork during the bout and went to town on Fabulous Lance’s head with it.  But that wasn’t enough; Abdullah was hungry for blood and the fork wasn’t producing enough, so he suddenly obtained a large stick and proceeded to beat the poser nearly senseless with it as he had him caught up in the ropes:

After this slaughter, it was the last anyone ever heard from Lance “The Poser” Von Erich.

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