December 13, 2006
624 Yale Street
Houston, TX 77007-9930
RE: 12/9/06 Incident at Austin Pappadeaux
I’m sure the news has reached your corporate offices by this point; a nude man was forcibly thrown out of your Austin Pappadeaux last Saturday night by a half dozen or more members of your restaurant staff. I was that man. I would like the opportunity to explain my side of the story, the true purpose behind the events that prompted your employees to hurl me out of your restaurant.
I would first like to clear up the cause of my nakedness. I obviously did not enter your restaurant sans clothes – I would not have done something like that and your staff would have never allowed me to enter even if I tried. It all started in your men’s restroom. I do not normally use public toilets; in fact, I try to avoid them if at all possible. I loathe having to poo-poo inside a stall while people are walking in and out of the restroom. As such, I make a habit to go at home before going out. There is another good reason for this, and after what happened to me last Saturday inside your restaurant, I would rather soil my boxers rather than face doing my business inside a public toilet stall again. Here’s the primary reason; before I am able to do #2, I must first take off all of my clothing. I have motives for doing so and I would rather not get into that here. It’s a personal thing and I’ll leave it at that. The point is, after shopping all day with my wife, I desperately had to go and I was not going to be able to hold it until I got home. It’s embarrassing having to take off all of my clothes in order to poop inside a communal restroom, but I would have never thought that some rotten thief would swipe my garments while I made dookie into the toilet at a nice place like Pappadeaux. Nevertheless, that’s what happened Saturday night and therefore this is the reason I cropped up naked inside your restaurant.
After walking out of the stall and discovering my clothes had been stolen, a sudden shock overcame me. As such, little regard was given in the way for manners or poise; instead, my primary objective was to catch the thief before he was able to flee the building. Mere seconds before exiting the stall, I heard someone leave the restroom and assumed if quick enough I could probably catch him and repossess my garments. When I peered out into the main dining area, I was unable to spot anyone with my clothes, so I fully emerged into the open in order to better ascertain the perpetrator. When I sighted the bandit walking through the center of the dining area toward the front of the restaurant with my clothes in his arms, I dashed after the man in order to repossess my property. This certainly triggered a great deal of alarm among the other patrons, many who began to shout, scream, and scatter about due to my nudity. This all led to utter chaos throughout the dining area, which in turn instigated your restaurant staff to react in such a rash and reckless manner it afforded the thief a successful escape.
In hindsight, I might also be raising my concerns if I was sitting in a fine restaurant and saw a naked man streaking through the place, and I can understand the reaction from the diners there that night. What I cannot comprehend, however, is the foolish manner in which your workforce behaved. Instead of assisting me in apprehending the clothing thief or even taking a moment to inquire how I became stripped of my clothing, I was tackled my three of your waiters and then dragged out the front door by no less than six Pappadeaux employees. I was not given the chance to clarify my situation to the manager nor would any of the staff allow any explanation I offered. They simply ignored rationalization last Saturday night. The only response any of them would offer was that the police had been called. Not called due to the theft; called because I had been naked inside the restaurant. As if I were the problem!
Once my wife came outside, she ushered me into our car and we left. Regrettably, she had been standing near the bar and witnessed the majority of the incident. She told me this morning that the image of me being tossed out of the building naked has been permanently engraved into her memory and that she will never be able to shake the nightmarish scene from her mind. I have to concur, as it is not something I will ever forget, either. I almost wish I would get Alzheimer’s so I would not be able to recall the ordeal ever again.
I have now fully explained my side of the story, though a few loose ends remain. I hold Pappadeaux primarily responsible for the loss of my belongings, which not only include my socks, shoes, pants, belt, underwear, dress shirt, and jacket, but my cell phone, set of keys, and my wallet (which contained cash, various credit cards, my ID, Sam’s Club card, insurance card, etc., etc.). All of these things were stolen from me in your restroom Saturday night and due to the thoughtless actions your employees chose to take – throwing me naked into the cold night – I failed to apprehend the crook who stole my property. In a nutshell, the employees at Pappadeaux allowed the robber to flee!
Now that you know exactly what transpired Saturday night, I would like to know what you plan to do to amend this as my wife and I would like to return to Pappadeaux and dine with dignity in the near future. I will use the restroom beforehand as well as remain fully clothed, of course.
December 27, 2006
Dear Mr. Cuda:
Thank you for the information you presented in your letter concerning your experience at Pappadeaux Seafood Kitchen in Austin. We appreciate when a Guest takes time out of their busy day to share their experience with us. We regret any inconvenience and embarrassment you experienced. Please be assured that we have spoken to our General Manager, Dean Montemayor, regarding your letter. He is very concerned about your comments and is taking this opportunity to research the situation further.
We welcome any comments you may have in the future, for your feedback is vital to our success.
We value your patronage, Mr. Cuda, and as a gesture of goodwill encourage you to use the enclosed gift certificate to dine with us in the future. We feel confident that your next experience will be a positive one.
Guest Relations Coordinator
cc: Dean Montemayor, Pappadeaux Seafood Kitchen in Austin