May 20th, 2003
Coors Brewing Company
PO Box 4030
Golden, Colorado 80401-0030
Dear Consumer Relations,
Last weekend while in Denver, I decided to take off for a few hours and drive to Golden to visit your brewery. Near the beginning of the tour, our group was shown the room where the brewing process begins, the room with the giant copper kettles. I was quite taken with this room, and I must admit, I lagged behind everyone else as the tour went on and I stayed near this area. I’m quite regretful that I did so.
I had been on one side of the wall in the middle and had just walked around to the opposite side when I noticed a man down on the floor near one of the copper kettles. He had a chair that he was standing on and I could tell that he was doing something near the opening on a kettle. As I walked around to get a better angle to see what he was doing, I was shocked to witness him urinating through the kettle door! Please listen when I tell you, I am making no mistake when constructing this claim as I had an extremely clear view of this event, and my vision without glasses is better than 20/20: I saw his penis out of his pants and I witnessed urine streaming out of the tip into the kettle.
I had my camera in a case in my pocket and as I fumbled around to get it out, I assume that this man noticed me and he grabbed his chair and ran behind the wall that had the American flag on it. I tried to take a picture of him, but he disappeared. Here’s the shot I took just seconds after he grabbed his chair and ran behind the wall somewhere:
When this took place, I didn’t see anyone else around, nor did I see anyone in the “control” room (the room above the flag). I quickly caught up with the tour group and finished the tour (I did not, however, drink any of the beer). I wanted to wait until the end of the tour before I mentioned this to the tour guide (I didn’t want to announce this in front of everyone), but at the end of the tour, the guide disappeared when I got to the bar and I couldn’t figure out anyone else to report it to. The bartenders? I don’t think so.
However, I could not let this matter go on without informing the proper authorities at your company what has happened. I must say that I am quite shocked and appalled, and I’m glad that I was able to take a picture as some sort of proof. I apologize that I couldn’t get a better shot of the man, but he apparently saw me and ran away.
I don’t know what you want to do about this, but just out of concern, I would like to know. Please feel free to write back to let me know how this sort of thing is resolved, until which time, I will be drinking Miller Lite.
May 30, 2003
Mr. Barry Cuda
Leander, Texas 78641
I received your letter about the tour experience and am concerned about the issue you raise. To assist with our investigation of this issue I am requesting some additional information from you to help in the process.
I would greatly appreciate a call from you on our toll free number, 1-800-642-6116, so we can discuss the circumstances. Our center is open from 8:00 a.m. to 5:00 p.m. MDT, Monday through Friday, and please ask for me.
Some of the additional information we’d like from you is:
The date of your visit to Coors – was it Saturday, May 17, 2003? Or another date?
- The approximate time of your tour, or the time the incident happened?
- The name of your tour guide.
- A description of the employee you saw:
- Distinguishing marks or characteristics
Again, we take this matter seriously and would appreciate any help you can provide. Please call me as soon as possible at 1-800-642-6116, or please write me at Coors Brewing Company, P.O. Box 4030, Golden, CO 80401 with any of the additional information I’ve requested.
Consumer and Guest Relations
June 16, 2003
Coors Brewing Company – Consumer and Guest Relations
Attention: Toni Houck
P.O. Box 4030
Golden, CO 80401
Dear Toni Houck:
Thank you so much for your reply. I think I may be able to help you out further with some of your questions.
First, although I know I dated my first letter on May 20th, the date I actually attended the tour was on Saturday, May 3rd. It was a morning tour. I don’t recall the tour guide’s name, however, that may not be so important once I describe the man who has caused this hullabaloo.
After receiving your response requesting a description of the man who peed into the kettle, I began to wonder if Coors posted photos of their employees on the company’s website. After all, it would be a lot easier to just point out a picture of the perpetrator rather than describe him in text. Although your website does not contain many pictures of Coors employees, I was elated to find a photo of the man who I am 99% sure was urinating in the kettle. I was not able to locate this man’s name, but I was able to capture his picture and insert it here in this letter:
As I said, I am fairly sure the man above was the one who was peeing in the kettle. Does this man look familiar? Does he indeed work at Coors? I hope this helps with your investigation, though I must remind you that although I only had a glimpse of his face, it was the man’s penis urinating into the kettle that transfixed my vision, so allow me to describe this in more detail. Please keep in mind that I may be a little off on its precise size due to the distance in which I was standing from the perpetrator, but I would have to say that the man’s penis was a good 12 inches or so, give or a take a few inches. It seemed quite large to say the least, and it was circumcised. Unfortunately, I did not have a good enough view to tell what color the pubic hair was, although I suspect that it would either be white (matching the man’s hair on his head) or black (matching the color of the man’s eyebrows).
I appreciate your concern in this matter and I hope that I have been a benefit in your investigation. Once more, I have to wonder about the process Coors undertakes when this sort of thing happens. I assumed that the kettles are well cleaned once this occurs; nevertheless my neighbor is apparently still drinking Coors beer. He offered me one the other day (even after I told him what happened) and we both agreed that the beer sort of smelled somewhat like urine. I just couldn’t bring myself to drink it. It may just be a psychological mental paranoid thing, but at this point, I can only wonder. For my ease of mind, please let me know how all of this goes and let me know if you need anything else. I would very much like to continue to drink Coors in peace.
Never heard from Coors again after the second letter was sent. I wonder why? -Barry