August 26, 2005
Campbell Soup Company
Camden, NJ 08103-1701
Dear Campbell Soup Company,
I just recently returned from the Orient where I had the most wondrous soup! It tasted so delicious and the first thing I thought of after making my homecoming to the States was the Campbell Soup Company. Now I’m not sure as to why you haven’t already thought to add “Bird’s Nest Soup” to you illustrious line of canned soup products, but I’ve got to say that you should waste no more time in cooking it up and getting it out on the market.
The main ingredient to Bird’s Nest Soup, of course, is an actual bird’s nest. When thinking about it, I can see why you may have not been able to make and sell this soup. It stands to reason that your people have probably been stumped as to where they would be able to obtain enough bird nests to make the massive amount of soup required to sell to the masses. Thank goodness you’ve got people like me who have your back when it comes to ideas!
I train and sell Common Grackles (Quiscalus quiscula) for a living, and in fact, I have a whole “grackle farm” near Austin, Texas where I raise literally thousands and thousands of grackles that are distributed to grackle enthusiast world wide. If you’re not familiar with what a common grackle looks like, I have included a drawing of one below:
Though my grackles make great pets, they also make a plethora of nests that I really have little use for – just perfect for making Campbell’s Bird’s Nest Soup!
I propose that if you are willing to transport these nests off my farm to your soup making facilities, we could work out a deal which would be beneficial to both of us – a win-win situation. I will not charge Campbell Soup Company any money for the nests as long as you would be willing to supply me with a few cases of the soup each year. Now tell me, how could you possibly pass on such an offer?
The ball is in your court, so please, work out a marketing plan for the introduction of this exciting new product and let me know what you need me to do in order to get the grackle nests off my farm and into your kitchen. I wait with baited breath for your response.