Bradford Suites

May 20th, 2003

Bradford Suites
4131 Centurion Way
Addison, TX 75001-9600

Dear Director of Guest Relations,

I recently stayed in one of your hotels in Addison for a few days while in Dallas. While the hotel itself seemed nice, I was horror-struck by something I found in one of the nightstands next to my bed. Not only did I come across the Holy Bible left there by the Gideons, I also found a Hustler’s Barely Legal hard-core porn magazine. I just so happened to have my digital camera with me, so I was able to take a picture of this as proof:

bradford

As you probably are already well familiar, this smut, which portrays 18 year-old girls made up to look like young innocent children, had been placed ever so blasphemously beside the Word of our Lord in the nightstand mere inches from where I slept for three days! It was only before I was about to check out of your hotel that I found it there.

Worse still, I told the woman at the front desk of this discovery and her response was, “Well, you can have it if you want, we won’t charge you for it.” So now you’re giving the porn away and that makes it reasonable?! I don’t know what kind of hotel you are running, and I thought that Bradford Homesuites was a respectable establishment, but I do believe that we have reached Hell on earth when you are enticing your guests to partake in Earthly debaucheries of fornication and lust by inserting hard-core pornographic magazines in your rooms for the guest’s sinister gratification. I wish I had never stayed at your establishment!

After further vigilant consideration, I realized that had I stayed at your hotel with my whole family, there’s no telling in the horrors that would ensure had either of my children pulled this out of its devilish resting place. So as a result, I would like to hear what you have to say about this matter before I report this to the proper authorities.

Sincerely,

BarryACudaSignature


Bradford Suites Response:

Still waiting for response…


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